Simple Woman: May 26, 2010

Outside my window...sunshine and a cool breeze. It's gonna be a beautiful day!

I am thinking...about how awesome it is going to be when my husband gets home. He is out-processing from his current position today, which basically means he is done with work at this Air Force Base!

I am thankful for...the movers. I spent much of my day complaining about them yesterday, so in an effort to atone for my bad attitude, I figured I'd say just how awesome they were. They really did a great job...no throwing of stuff, respectful, courteous (unless you count the pee on the seat. Seriously, will all you guys out there just sit down like the rest of us?), etc. We really don't have much stuff (about 5000lbs total and that includes all of Tim's professional gear as a musician), but even working hard it took them all day.

From the kitchen...pizza in the fridge and empty BBQ containers in the trash. Yep, it was one of those days.

I am wearing...a T-shirt and shorts. Just about everything else has been sent to Europe.

I am creating...memories. Saying good-bye sucks, but I have had an amazing time. Having battled a plethora of medical issues the last decade, I lost out on many of the joys of life, like amusement parks. Now that I am healthy and can be inverted without passing out, I decided it was high time for me to get back on the roller coaster. On Saturday, I called a friend and invited her to Wild Adventures. Within 20 minutes, another friend was on board, so we all played hookie from church and had one final hoorah. We ended the day on the same roller coaster we started...and I will always remember how awesome it was to share that experience with them.

I am going...crazy...still.

I am reading...He Loves Me by Wayne Jacobsen. Theologically, it is suspect in a few places, which I enjoy because it challenges me to search scripture and solidify what I believe. Literarily, it is lacking. Chapters which could be developed more just end; evidence is not given for Jacobsen's exegesis; and the language is elementary, but perhaps that is by design. It takes alot for me to quit reading a book. We'll see if I make it all the way through this one.

I am hoping...oh...you guessed it, that the house and car sell before we move.

I am hearing...the fan. We are one of the many people who can't sleep without fan noise or white noise.

Around the house...pretty much nothing except a few items we are storing at the in-laws.

One of my favorite things...moving and starting over. We have lived in this city longer than any other. I wasn't a military brat, but even still, I moved quite a bit before I was married, and we have lived in 3 cities and 5 different homes since then. Most people hate to move. I find it cathartic. People have a tendency to hold on to who you were when they first met you, in spite of the changes that occur over time. Moving allows not only an opportunity to be the new you in a new location, but also an opportunity to purge your stuff. The process is annoying at times, but it also promotes physical, mental, and emotional detox.

A few plans for the week...finishing the last few repairs on the house.

Here is a photo I am sharing of me and my friends after my first roller coaster ride in 7 years:

Simple Woman: May 17, 2010

Outside my window...an interesting dichotomy of rain and sun. Even the birds are still chirping.

I am thinking about sex, but not in the manner you might think. In the last 2 weeks I have read about or seen: a prom photo of a senior who is 9 months pregnant; sex-ting during church; a video of 8-year-old girls wearing less than Beyonce and dancing to Single Ladies even more provocatively; a wedding after an unwed pregnancy; a friend teaching abstinence at a pregnancy center where the girls didn't even know you could get STDs from oral sex. I'm just about sick of the oversexualization in our culture.

I am thankful for just about everything. Except maybe mosquitoes, roaches and stupid people.

From the kitchen...a whole lotta nothing. I can barely get around the kitchen because of all the junk. The movers are coming this week to take the kitchen stuff, the linens, and most of our clothes so that they will get to Europe sooner than our furniture.

I am wearing...sadly, the EXACT same thing from last week's post. But I PROMISE I took it from the clean clothes pile.

I am creating...piles of stuff for the movers.

I am going...to the globo-gym this afternoon. I am sure to get evil and questioning glares when I practice handstand push-ups, but tonight is a pizza party for me, so I won't be able to workout in my regular CrossFit gym.

I am reading...What the Dickens, by Gregory Maguire. He's not a great writer, but his imagination is intriguing.

I am hoping...we sell the car and the house before we move.

I am hearing...Wishing and Hoping in my head. Apparently that last statement song bombed me.

Around the house...ahem. I plead the 5th.

One of my favorite things...lattes in the morning.

A photo I am sharing:

An action shot of me cleaning 95#:

Simple Woman: May 10, 2010

Outside my window...sunshine. Really and truly, sunshine cures everything. Of course, here in the deep south, sunshine generally has friends, namely heat and humidity. The last few days, however, those last two have been vacationing somewhere else, so the weather has been breezy and glorious.

I am thinking...about my OB/GYN appointment today and how hard it will be to say goodbye to the doctor and woman who has walked me through so much the last 8 years. She's the one who noticed just about everything wrong with my body and sent me to the appropriate specialists. She's the one who held my hand (and the puke bucket) after physical exams when everything hurt and she was still trying to figure out what was wrong. She celebrated with us when the boys came home and held me when they were gone. She went beyond the call of duty in every aspect of my care, and I will miss her.

I am thankful for...a husband who does the dishes in the morning (It doesn't take much to make me happy), even if, by his own account, his motivation was 1/3 selfish (too many dishes in the sink for him to wash the french press).

From the kitchen...an espresso chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. AWESOME! Recipe coming soon.

I am wearing...those $9 sweat pants again with a T-shirt from the butcher that reads..."Nothing Butt the Best"

I am creating...an atmosphere of paranoia. The hubs and I are on a mission. We will finish ALL 7 seasons of the X-files (the ones after that were sans Fox Mulder, and really...what is X-Files without Mulder and Scully?). One interesting side effect of watching 3-4 (or 8...ahem) episodes a day is the shift in thinking. Everything is now a conspiracy theory and the government is always involved.

I am going...to Germany in 6 weeks! Oh wait...I've already mentioned that haven't I? Yeah, that date couldn't get here soon enough.

I am reading...your mind (you will notice that the sarcasm is back, a sure sign that I am healing emotionally).

I am hoping...to see as many friends and family as possible before we move.

I am hearing...the distant sounds of a military training session. Usually this involves choppers, low rumbles, and faint gunfire. The hubs has told me it is eerily similar to the sounds he heard when he was deployed.

Around the house...a lot less stuff than there was last week. Thank Heavens. We worked our tails off to sale stuff and throw stuff out. This week, more stuff will be sold or thrown out because we only have 6 more weeks until we move to Germany (oh wait, I already said that, didn't I?)

One of my favorite things...my dog. Margot, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, was EXTREMELY strong-willed as a puppy. We went through a week or so where we fed her from our hand to teach her who the alpha was (not her). For the longest time, she wouldn't sit with us or let us hold her on her back. The positive side to a strong-willed dog comes when the hierarchy is established. She is just over a year old now, and she is quickly becoming the best. dog. ever. (Odie, a Corgi my in-laws had, will be hard to beat). She has recently learned the awesomeness of sleeping on the couch while we watch T.V. And she is obedient, even when distracted. Yep, she's a keeper.

A few plans for the rest of the week...prepping for the move, taking Margot's health certificate to the USDA for travel clearance, and X-Files, because the truth is out there.

A couple of photos...the first one of Margot as a puppy. I mean really, who could resist that face:


The second, a Christmas Market in Germany. Apparently, Christmas is HUGE in Germany. I'm not usually one to deck the halls, but I am really looking forward to this:

Simple Woman: May 4, 2010

Outside my window...rain. I love storms. The smell of freshly moistened earth. Thunder plowing across the sky. The chaos created when the wind rips leaves and small limbs from the safety of the tree and scatters them in unfamiliar places. Perhaps it's the beauty/chaos dichotomy.

I am thinking...more and more about how I am going to spend my time in Germany. I could teach, and I would love it; but it would also be a vacuum that would suck any opportunity to really experience Europe. Or I could write and record. I am playing with a Julie/Julia-esque 365-day transformation that would involve this temple of the Holy Spirit and would focus on transforming the 4 aspects of loving God: Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength.

I am thankful for...the many opportunities I have had to serve on the worship team at church. Music is the one aspect of my life that demands authenticity (Not to imply that I am not authentic in other areas. Quite the contrary, I'm disturbingly real). I can run from emotion until I find myself worshiping God with music. Suddenly, I cannot hide the reality in which I live. Serving has forced me to confront some very strong feelings of anger and grief, while simultaneously remembering the joy.

From the kitchen...GREEK YOGURT!! If you haven't tried it...go get some NOW!

I am wearing...wait for it...are you sitting down? A grey pocket tee with hair dye stains and olive-green cut-offs made from a pair of cotton sleep pants. Please contain yourself.

I am creating...pull-up hands, which consist of calluses and tears from hanging on the bar. I still have not reached my first workout goal: an unassisted pull-up. Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I have muscles for days, and my personal bests for the power lifts go up every week. It's the motion of the pull-up that I can't get.

I am going...to Joshua Cup this afternoon to study German and buy coffee. Die Frau trinkt.

I am reading...absolutely nothing because I haven't been able to get a new book. I am going through withdrawals. I'm usually a 2-book-a-week gal.

I am hoping...God really comes through for some friends of mine.

I am hearing...God in the small things again. Like the birds chirping outside my window.

Around the house...a vacuum cleaner in the corner; dog toys on the floor; an empty fecal sample collector on the T.V. (because we have to bring in a "fresh" sample for Margot's vet appointment on Friday); a salt shaker in the den; and a plethora of other small items, evidence of our complete disregard for cleaning the last few days. According to Murphy's Law, the realtor should call and want to show the house within the hour.

One of my favorite things...laughter. Genuine laughter. Not contrived, but long and hearty. The kind that makes you have to pee.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Oh, I still need to help the sanitation department earn their wages by throwing out stuff we don't plan to take to Germany.

A photo I am sharing: This is my friend, Heather, a breast cancer survivor, and her youngest child, a girl who came home from Ethiopia in the midst of Heather's chemotherapy. I have set up an honorarium site through Susan G. Komen, where you can help raise $1000 in her honor for breast cancer research.

Simple Woman: April 26, 2010

Outside my window...weeds...and really tall grass that will get mowed today. Some pretty hypnotizing shadows dancing on the fence.

I am thinking...about my boys. I am always thinking about my boys, even when other thoughts float around, they only mingle with thoughts of my boys. But I am also thinking about the opportunity I had yesterday to sing "How He Loves" and how the truth in those lyrics makes every thought bearable.

I am thankful for...coffee. Really, does anything else need to be said?

From the kitchen...we finally made homemade oreos (or faux-reos, as the hubs called them). That was just a little bit of Heaven right there.

I am wearing...the scars and bruises of a tough week at the gym. It was all worth it when on Saturday I reached a personal record on the clean: 85#!!

I am creating...I whole lotta trash for the city. We are getting rid of a bunch of stuff and just streamlining everything for the move. As far as I am concerned? We could just bring an air mattress and start from scratch. That's how much I want to start over.

I am going...to learn German before we move. I mean it. I am. You just wait and see.

I am reading...the Psalms from back to front. As much as I love the Psalms, I also know this is the only way I am going to make it through the entire book. I never knew how awesome the last few were. Seriously, how can one read about how great God is and still be discouraged? (That's a rhetorical question not meant to spark debate).

I am hearing...the neighbor's lawnmower. The engine is harassing me...

Around the house...guitar stuff...everywhere. The hubs and I played during the worship services yesterday, which means I spent the week practicing...which means there are picks, cables, guitar cases, charts, etc. throughout the house. Looks like I'll be cleaning that up, too.

One of my favorite things...throwing the football in the backyard. Margot, the corgi, loves this activity, too. She sprints the distance between us with every throw...eventually throwing slobber in the wind. She will eventually get so tired that she will squat and pretend that she is peeing just so she can rest. We have even taught her "Down! Set! Hike!" And every now and then we will sneak in an extra command to try and throw her off: "Down! Set! Bluuue 52! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Hike!" Hilarious!!

A few plans for the rest of the week: detailing the car for a potential buyer; yardwork...lots of it; promoting my honorarium site for the Susan G. Komen For the Cure site. I am trying to raise $1000 dollars in honor of my friend and survivor, Heather. When I do, I am shaving my head.

Here's a photo I am sharing...Margot panting furiously after football:

Simple Woman: April 19, 2010

This morning, when I opened my laptop, bound and determined to write because I am a writer and Lord knows I haven't been all that motivated lately, I hit the wall. That blank, mocking, belittling wall of nothing...or everything...that keeps writers from writing. And I thought about just closing the laptop and folding laundry, or wasting a couple hours traveling the world in JewelQuest.

Obviously, that didn't happen because here I am. What did happen was Simple Woman. A couple of blogs I follow post regularly about Simple Woman, and when I saw one of those posts today, I just decided it was an easy way to keep writing. After all, I may not be able to isolate enough thought to write from scratch, but surely I can finish a couple starter sentences, right?

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FOR TODAY

Outside my window...I see nothing because I haven't even opened the curtains yet. A few minutes ago I did hear the lilting lines of two birds, reminding me that even if I do sleep in late, joy still comes in the morning if I let it.

I am thinking...about the soreness in my arms after yesterday's workout involving pull-ups, sprints, and handstands. Every day I hit the gym, I feel stronger and more solid, but in the midst of the workout, I often wonder aloud, Who makes this crap up?

I am thankful for...the gift of music because no matter how bad it gets, I can always pick up my guitar and feel better.

From the kitchen...a whole lot of dirty dishes, but in a couple hours I will be prepping Thai peanut sauce and beef satay for dinner tonight. It's a new recipe which has proven difficult only because I have to beat the husband away from the last remaining container of Chobani yogurt in the refrigerator.

I am wearing...the same $9 pair of Wal-Mart sweat pants I have been wearing since the beginning of Winter. They are more comfortable than anything I have ever worn. And a T-shirt I bought at Taranto's, a complete and total dive on a river in Mississippi. But they serve the best crawfish I have ever eaten.

I am creating...an illusion. I keep convincing people that I am okay, and I am, but not nearly as okay as my convincing facade. Someone told me the other day that I am always confident, which is true I suppose. The secret to confidence is just not giving a damn about what other people think. I have one being to whom I am responsible...my Creator, God in Heaven. After that, it doesn't really matter. BUT...that doesn't mean I never collapse into a blob of emotional wreckage, choking on my own tears as I try to understand the loss I experience.

I am going...to live in Germany in a two months. Assuming the Air Force clears me to move with my husband and they do so in a timely manner so as not to leave me in the states without him for a few months.

I am reading...Shelter. Had I known it was Science Fiction involving AIs and the anthropomorphizing of bots in the late 21st century, I NEVER would have bought it. But I did, only because the cover looked cool and it was on the $3 rack at Books-a-Million. I have actually thoroughly enjoyed it.

I am hoping...we actually sell the house before moving to Germany. We really don't want to carry it for a while after the move.

I am hearing...the dog beg for attention from the Alpha Male who just walked in the door for a lunch break.

Around the house...dog hair. We have a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and she blows her coat twice a year, which is definitely better than shedding year-round.

One of my favorite things...Smoothie Sunday. We have no idea when this tradition started, but the hubs and I have had smoothies for dinner on Sunday for a couple years. It is, quite sadly, the highlight of our week.

A few plans for the rest of the week...the Exhale Conference for the youth group at church. I'm playing guitar for the worship team and have 5 songs to learn by Wednesday.

Here's a photo I am sharing...of one of our friends from Taranto's (he was delicious).