I used to work in a real coffee shop as the OPENER, which meant I had to get to the shop at 6:00am. I lived 30 minutes away. I earned the nickname Morning Glory because even though my regulars loved me (I knew them so well they didn't even have to order, and I usually had their drink on the counter before they even made it to the register), they knew I wasn't a morning person and found my grunts and snide comments amusing. Endearing...really.
Now that I have three boys, you would think that I would adapt to mornings, but alas, I am just more grumpy because while I have learned to appreciate the silence and slowness of the a.m. hours, my children will somehow jump out of bed with energy unparalleled by even the most skittish of creatures.
So this morning when I rolled out of bed at 9:00 (shut up! As my cousin pointed out, any hour before noon is understood to be morning), and before I even had my coffee made Boo was saying my name from the den (because God forbid we actually walk into the same room and speak in a quiet voice), I decided to implement a plan my husband drew up a couple weeks ago.
PERMISSION SLIPS!!!
I don't know about your kids, but mine ask permission to do EVERYTHING, which I guess is better than the alternative, but really, they will ask me permission to turn on the t.v., or do their chores, or go in the backyard, blah blah blah. I can be nursing a sucking chest wound and my son will ask me if he can have a glass of water. And when I tell him yes, he will get a glass and then interrupt my death AGAIN to ask if he can put ice in it.
But I digress.
The slips give the boys permission to ASK a question...but don't guarantee permission to do what they ask. It works like this:
- The boys get five permission slips. Being the creative person I am with extra time on my hands, I gave them solid white blank index cards.
- If they ask permission to do something, we take a slip.
- If they interrupt us while we are working, just to say our name but not actually ask anything, we take a slip.
- When all the slips are gone, they are not allowed to ask permission for anything else.
SHEER GENIUS, folks.
Even if it doesn't work***, I still love the idea.
Surely I am not the only mother to deal with this. What have you done to curb the incessant asking in your kids?
***about an hour after we explained the rules, my husband found JC sitting at his desk, writing feverishly on each of his cards. Apparently, he was writing down on each card what he wanted to get permission for. “I want to go fishing” was on one. Um yeah...it would appear that the rules were completely lost on him.
My boys didn't do that, so maybe I'm over-analyzing, but... does it make you wonder what they got in trouble for, before? That they feel the need to ask permission to get a drink of water?
ReplyDeleteBut maybe that's not the issue at all.
Mine, on the other hand, would be more likely to be asking me to get it for them, when they're perfectly capable of doing it themselves. *eyes roll*
Julie
Good point, Julie. We are trying to figure out why the questions started. Initially, we were dealing with some tough oppositional behavior, so we were forced to rein them in tighter than we would have liked. Now that they are getting more freedom, they don't seem willing to take it. I'm guessing there was safety in having someone tell you what to do and when, and so now that they are being asked to think for themselves, they are afraid of making a mistake.
ReplyDeleteThe results of the slips were immediate. After two pretty ridiculous questions, we soon found them playing catch in the backyard...without ASKING!! They took it upon themselves to get their gear and had fun.
And after a little bit, we rewarded them by heading outside to join in the game.
Yay :0) Glad it's working!
ReplyDelete