Every time I hit the gym, I am amazed at what my body can do. When my body is convinced that it is finished, it goes another round. When my mind is distracted, it grabs onto the bar and pounds out one more rep. And when it is all over, I collapse...amazed.
Every. Single. Time.
I am continually amazed that I can walk into a gym and not relapse (it helps that our gym has no mirrors). Eating disorders are like that. Those of us in "remission" have to be forever mindful of our bent toward self destruction...how it creeps in slowly, flips a switch, and BAM! CrossFit, because it focuses not on body image but on body production and functionality, has proven effective in not only keeping the beast in the cage, but also taming her ferociousness.
After 8 weeks:
My arthritic knees are improving. I can air squat full range of motion, butt to the floor, feet flat on the ground.
My balance has returned. Oh, I still run into walls or door knobs every now and then, but I can actually hold a few yoga positions. Not too shabby for someone who once fell over when she closed her eyes.
My core is stronger. Obviously, the hysterectomy last summer helped in this regard, but my posture is better than it has ever been. I don't slouch anymore because my core can actually support my spine.
My body is cleaner. What does that even mean?!?! Well, apparently my body is detoxing itself (and no, I didn't do some freaky-deaky colon cleanse or liquid diet). Last week was a particularly gruesome week of workouts, and every single time I went to grab a workout shirt from the pile (I tend to re-wear them because, hey, they're already dirty, right?), we were confronted with the particularly undeniable odor of cigarette smoke. I haven't smoked for about 4 years. After a bit of research, we learned that nicotine is stored in fat cells. As my body is converting fat to muscle, it is releasing all the toxins stored from my days as a smoker. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I was basically sweating nicotine, which would also explain some increasingly disturbing urine colors I had last week, despite my consumption of vast amounts of water.
I can now complete a 20-inch box jump. I still workout with an 18-inch, but I can actually jump high enough to clear the 20-inch box.
I can do one double under (jump rope...two turns of the rope for every jump. Tim is getting quite good at these).
I can now invert my body without losing consciousness. As my heart gets stronger, it has the ability to force blood into my extremities when I am upside down. This is a vast improvement for someone who lost consciousness regularly. With the hubs holding my ankles, I can actually do a static handstand hold for 20-30 seconds...and not even get dizzy.
My recovery time after a workout is shorter. Workouts that once took 15-20 minutes of recovery time now only take 5-10. This basically means I can push myself harder now.
I am stronger physically. I set a personal record on the clean last week. 4 weeks ago I was at 55#. 2 weeks ago I hit 75#. On Saturday, I hit 85#.
I am mentally stronger. Last week, during a particularly difficult workout, when I was confronting my personal demons of recent loss, I broke down. I cried...long and hard. I walked out of the gym and just cried. After my husband finished his workout, he said something I already knew to be true: "You know you have to go in there and finish." He was right. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But I did. Tears falling on the barbell rack and the floor, I completed five rounds of back squats and dips...all while using a personal best of 111# on the bar.
