Red Tape

We have spoken with 2 congressmen, 2 senators, a governor, 2 agencies, and 4 attorneys. In addition, friends who know people involved with children's services in Georgia and other states, have asked for help. Friends have asked personal attorneys for advice and help with our situation. The answer is always the same.

What happened is a travesty. Someone should have looked at the bigger picture and seen that these boys were happy, healthy, and thriving; but they didn't. Legally, the boys cannot be placed back in their home.

It would seem the bureaucratic red tape is strong enough to bind reason, logic, and sensibility.

The question that remains is exactly what IS happening as a result of all this.

With our case:

We know nothing about the boys and where they are except that they are together and not in this city. Basically, as a result of policy, they were uprooted again, but this time, in addition to changing schools and homes, they changed cities.

They once had our last name. They now have their birth name.

They were enrolled in baseball. They are no longer part of their team.

They had a family. They are now in foster care...again.

We are scheduled to say goodbye to them tomorrow.

The Office of the Child Advocate (OCA), which exists to make sure that the Department of Family and Children Services (DFCS)*** really does serve the best interest of families, has called to let us know they are investigating.

The head of DFCS for the state called this week to say that her attempts to contact our county office have yielded nothing. It was a “courteous call” to let us know she hadn't forgotten about our case, but she has not been able to actually talk with anyone at the county office (Had I not been so emotionally spent at the time, I would have said something snarky like, “Welcome to the club”).

With us:

Emotionally, every day gets “easier.” The only thing keeping us sane is the strength we are given by the prayers of everyone who has rallied behind us and the truth that God knows, understands, defends, loves, holds, and controls everything.

I have begun the process for medical clearance with the military. Basically, that means I have filled out a ton of paperwork and had doctors and dentists fill out a ton of paperwork, and am waiting to appear before a panel of a doctor, a mental health professional, and some other person to discuss said paperwork and prove that I am medically capable of accompanying my husband on an overseas assignment.

We are trying to sell a house in a dying market. UGH!

We are trying to remember what it is like to be a family of two.

“I was made for this.”

That's what I told my therapist about one month after our boys came home. Now, in the aftermath of the disrupted placement, I'm remembering that meeting, and trying to figure out what happened. And I'm still trying to figure out how to live when the world just doesn't seem to be spinning correctly.

***Most states just call it the Department of Family Services. In light of our current reality, I find it interesting that Georgia distinguishes between family and children, as though they were two separate issues. Speaks volumes, people.